What Was Your Creative Lightning Bolt? Page Eastburn O'Rourke and the Artistic Process

Lisa Belisle: Hello, I am Dr. Lisa Belisle, and you are listening to or watching Radio Maine, our video podcast where we celebrate creativity in the human spirit. It is brought to you by the Portland Art Gallery in Portland, Maine. Today it is my great pleasure to speak with artist Page, who has been here before with our podcast, but it's like a new version of yourself, Page, that you're coming into the studio with. So welcome.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Oh, thank you so much, Lisa. It's a pleasure to be here. I have to say, the last time I was here, I was more nervous. I woke up at three in the morning and I never went back to sleep last night. I slept really well until my cat Mary jumped on me at three. But anyway, I gave her a little attention, then went back to sleep. So I'm feeling well rested and ready to talk about creativity and art.

Lisa Belisle: I love that. So your cat's name is Mary.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Her name is Mary. Yeah.

Lisa Belisle: That's an unusual name for a cat.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Well, we got her from the shelter and she came named Mookie, and she's much more elegant than that. So every Mary I've ever met I've really liked, so I'm like, you're Mary.

Lisa Belisle: I'm really fascinated. So I'm going to read this quote I found. "I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say in any other way, things I had no words for." This is Georgia. When you were connecting with us about what you were looking for as a kind of vision of your next iteration, you started with this quote. So that says something to me. It says there's something about this that really is speaking to this part of your consciousness. I want to explore that with you.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Absolutely. That's a quote that I resonated with a number of years ago, and I feel like the past year it's come into my life in such a big way. I really get why it first attracted my attention, and now I'm understanding it even more. So I had this amazing experience last June. My sister, my niece and I went to Paris, and we were walking along the Left Bank looking for a place for lunch, and my sister pointed to this fabric shop across the street. It was just filled with the most beautiful, colorful fabrics, bursting with abstract shapes. And it felt like a lightning bolt moment in my life. I just thought, I want to learn that language of abstract shapes so that I can express this feeling that I have right now. So what I did was I ended up taking a class last fall with a wonderful teacher. It was online, she was in Scotland, and it was abstracting the landscape. She gave us a lot of super challenging assignments that really busted us out of our comfort zone. One being, get a big stick and tape charcoal to it and draw a landscape. It was so challenging because it was really loosening me up. So it was sort of a struggle between control and being loose, but the loose felt really good and it felt really expressive.

Lisa Belisle: When I think about where your art has come from, there is quite a bit of structure to it. In fact, it's so structured that you were using wood to create figures. So I think you're using the word deconstruct. How do you deconstruct the structure and move in a completely different direction? How do you take the patterning out of your brain and shake it all up?

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: That's a great question. So after this class, I started experimenting with my Maine landscapes and figuring out a way to deconstruct them, to simplify them, to break them down to shapes, colors, patterns, textures. I did a favorite lighthouse and I kept the same vibrant palette, and I took the stripes on the lighthouse. It was Lubec lighthouse, and I made them into a pattern. Then I took some slightly flattened U shapes that I used for water, and I put that out in space and did some other design work and elements that gave me the feeling that I had when I saw that lighthouse, and I painted it. That's what I'm really trying to do in my paintings. I've got a couple other Maine paintings I've deconstructed, like Monhegan, and I was thinking about wonderful family trips there.

A section of the painting is a beautiful night sky, and then a weathered blue door, and then lobster traps, and you would look at it and see an abstract painting. But I'm celebrating different aspects I think about with Monhegan. What I'm doing with my paintings is putting all this energy into them, and I'm looking for a universal feeling. When someone looks at my painting, I can describe it a little bit, what inspired me to do it, some of the elements they might recognize. But then what I want to do is take all those wonderful feelings about the family trips to Monhegan, and I want someone to look at the painting and make up their own story and have their own feelings from it. So that's this body of work I'm doing. I've done 13 paintings so far. I'm just putting all my energy, sort of memories, into the painting. And I really do like the feeling of collaborating with other people. I think it comes maybe from doing children's books. The first part of my career, I was doing art and I was always thinking about the audience. I was thinking about what the kids would look at and how they would receive it. So that is an integral part of my art process.

Lisa Belisle: The one piece that I've seen in this new body of work, it's very vibrant, and I can absolutely see the shapes that you've, I guess, arranged. I'm trying to find the right words for this. Tell me about this piece and tell me what caused you to start working on this one.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Arranged is the perfect word, because abstract art, any kind of art, but I think really abstract art too, to me is so much about a really strong composition. So I've got the elements arranged so that you can look at the painting and go into it and feel the feelings. There's nothing really blocking you. That's what I find with a really pleasing, harmonious composition. It invites you in. There's nothing that's blocking you. So with the painting that we're talking about, I called it Falling in Love, and it's celebrating all through my life the different times I've fallen in love, with my husband, having children. You can fall in love with a place, with friends.

And lately what I've been really thinking about is falling in love with art. My husband Kevin and I have been collecting local art for a number of years. I used to show my art through the outdoor shows, and there was a whole community there of artists. So my husband and I bought some of the art of our artist friends, and it's said that art carries the energy of the artist who created it. I really feel that with the paintings that we have. I joined the Portland Art Gallery four years ago, and now my husband and I have collected six of the artists' work. So that's hanging in our home. I found such a wonderful, supportive, creative community with the Portland Art Gallery and all my artist friends there. I love it when I walk around the house and I've got their art and their energy in the house.

Lisa Belisle: I feel the same way. This is one of the reasons why we used to have art here in the studio. My husband, also named Kevin, who owns the Portland Art Gallery, he would bring art here and we would hang them up behind us. And I would say probably 90% of the time I would say, oh, I would like to keep that piece. And sometimes he would let me keep a piece just long enough. We called it fostering. But the problem was that I was never completely satisfied with fostering. I wanted to adopt all the pieces. So now he does not actually bring home very many pieces, which is why when he brought home your piece, I was like, what is happening? He brought home a piece for me to fall in love with, and I love that it's actually called Falling in Love.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Yes. And so that's the universal feeling that I'm talking about. So when someone sees that painting, I've talked about all the ways that I fall in love, and when you're looking at it, how do you fall in love?

Lisa Belisle: We happen to be in the art gallery yesterday and they're putting up the latest show. It was so interesting for me because it reminded me of when I used to go to animal shelters and I'd be like, oh, I'd like that kitty, and I'll take this little dog, and could we please bring them all home to my house? When I first used to go to libraries when I was a child, all of the books and all the possibility and all the energy and all the feelings that you knew were inside each of these books. But then with art, it's made manifest. Here it is, all of these on the wall. It's such an incredible thing that people who do art, people like you who are actually willing to say, here is my spirit for you to enjoy. That's a really big deal that you do that.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Thank you for saying that. It feels like a big deal in lots of ways, especially getting older. I turned 62 two years ago, and I was absolutely gobsmacked. I had never really thought that much about getting older. I lost some really dear friends that I love so much. It put me into this sort of unhealthy loop of regrets and feeling like the clock was ticking and putting pressure on myself. Through my abstract art, I've been able to get in touch and express and identify some of those really challenging feelings that I've had, in particular with the regrets. This is what I find challenging, being a person that's always trying. I try to grow. I really do. I try to take a hard look at myself and be a better person. What I get plagued with are regrets.

There's that saying, you did the best with what you knew at the time. I know that's true, I believe that from my friends, but I wasn't internalizing that and I was giving myself such a hard time. I started thinking, honestly, oh, is this just part of being north of 60? You just live with regrets. It's been through the abstract art and expressing memories that I've been able to start letting those regrets dissipate. And the more I do that, the more all these memories from my life are coming up, and I'm drawing them and I'm painting them, and it feels really freeing. I didn't expect this feeling, but it is sort of a feeling of surrendering a little bit.

Lisa Belisle: It's fascinating for me to sit with you and know that I think we tried three different times to tape our interview together. Twice we tried to do it virtually. It was COVID. And then we had some technical issues. And then the third time you came in and did a fantastic job. There was also this sense of concern that I had a hard time understanding, because I experience you as just the most vibrant and engaged. I see you at the gallery openings, and my daughter Abby, who does the food, you are as big a supporter of her as I am, which is probably not possible, but I know that it's true. I see the interactions. So when you told me, I'm going to have a hard time coming on the show, and then it literally took three times to do it, I was like, this does not square with my experience of Page. But what I'm feeling now actually completely squares with my experience of you. You don't have to accept any of this as truth. It is just my reflecting back to you, and thank you for your patience with my doing that. But I wonder if some of this has to do with the surrendering that you're describing, and the letting go of whatever it was.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: It absolutely does. I feel like one of the biggest challenges of my life has been working around judgment. I have worked so hard not to be a judgmental person and to accept other people. When I do feel snarky or judgmental or whatever, I really take a hard look at that, because I feel like when you're being judgmental to others, you're really judging yourself harshly. So I thought I learned that lesson, and I don't feel judgmental about other people, really. But then I was being so judgmental about myself. Now that I've been able to find a way to express myself through my abstract painting, it was literally finding a language that has helped me understand my whole life. The abstract painting has let me create my own world and understand and appreciate my life.

Lisa Belisle: That's such a significant thing to say. It's also pretty wonderful that you came to this place after living in a different way and having a different way of viewing yourself for the entirety of those first six decades.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Yes. I feel like part of that comes back to living in Maine. I think we moved here 22 years ago, had family up here, and I always just had this really positive association with Maine. Part of it was, I think of it as a very authentic place. I wanted to move here so badly. My husband was sort of on the fence, but he was like, okay, I like Maine. And he came along with me, and I got to Maine and I was like, oh, maybe we made a mistake. Maybe we should go back to Connecticut. I miss my friends, I miss my community. And he said, actually, I really like it here. I think we're going to stay. And I said, okay, this is my work to do. I realized that Maine felt so authentic to me that I wanted that for myself, but it's a hard journey taking a hard look at yourself.

And Maine has really supported me in that journey. I feel like, a new series with the abstract paintings I'm doing about communication. I have three paintings. I actually bought this sweater because the polka dot color is very similar to a pale turquoise that I'm working with in this series about communicating. I've got three paintings. One is about the celebration of communicating with my family, my husband, and my two sons. The other is celebrating communication with two dear old friends from college, and it actually has a shape of a telephone cord in it, showing how far we go back. And then the other one is celebrating art talks and the community of the Portland Art Gallery that I found. That's been a tremendous part of my growth, and it's pushed me forward with my art. I feel like it's so supportive for people to grow. This painting celebrates art talks, and I love all the artists that I've gotten to be friends with. We have so many talks and we support each other, and seeing everybody at the openings, it's just the most wonderful opportunity to get together with the staff and the other artists and the collectors, and Abby and her great food, and Lucy and her sparkling rosé.

It's also really fun, because I've gotten to know some of the people who have bought my paintings, and it's so much fun just to have casual chats with them. They'll pull out their phone and show me a picture of where their painting is in their living room. So it's just been a wonderful community for support and connections.

Lisa Belisle: The thing that I love about what you're describing is also the next iteration of the next generation, and the modeling that we're doing for people as we are entering into communication and community. Obviously your husband Kevin comes to a lot of these events. I've seen at least one of your sons come too.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Griffin. I'm going to get Griffin to come more often.

Lisa Belisle: My daughter Abby comes, she does the food. And Kevin's son Sean, my stepson, he now works at the gallery, which is fantastic. When I think about all the disconnection that we've kind of been forced to go through as a world due to COVID, the reconnection, and the reconnection with people of different sorts, different generations, different life patterns, that makes such a difference in our ability to live fully in this world.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: I couldn't agree with you more. One of my favorite things I do is, on Tuesdays, my mom is in assisted living in Falmouth. So every Tuesday we have a lunch date and I bring a red check tablecloth and bring lunch, and we sit and have a great time, and then I call bingo. We'll go upstairs and we'll set up for bingo, and 12 to 15 ladies will come in and it's just a party. It's so much fun. When they win bingo, they either get a fun sized candy bar, or my mom and I will go to the dollar store and get lotions and potions. People donate scarves and costume jewelry. And you are talking about role models. Some of these ladies are over a hundred, and they come and they bring the best attitude and we have so much fun and we just have great laughs and camaraderie for an hour. I feel so fortunate to do it, because a lot of those ladies, including my mom, are role models for me.

Lisa Belisle: As I'm hearing this, I think that this ongoing modeling that we receive, and I love the word co-creation or co-creating this world we live in. One of the things that I wonder about just a little bit is, when you decided to change your style, you actually said, and now I need to leave all of these paintings behind and I'm going to move forward with these other paintings. So what happens when the style that you have long put out into the world, you no longer, that is not who you want to be anymore, but a lot of other people kind of expect you to be that person, expect that to be your identity? Tell me about any experiences you've had with having to leave an alternative identity that maybe other people found very valuable to themselves, that no longer serves you.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Okay. What's coming up for me is, I've learned a lot about systems, family systems, business systems, art gallery systems, and just the whole idea of everybody plays a role in a system, and you're either moving the system forward or holding it back. I am always taking a hard look at that. I do think with the art gallery, I feel very aligned with it, because I feel like it's a system that's really healthy and always looking to improve. I think a huge part of that is communication. I feel that with the art that I've transitioned from, I still want to have conversations with the people that collect that art. I feel like they're going to understand that we evolve in life, and that all the art I've created is very valuable to me, and I'm still deeply connected to it. It's another chapter in my life.

Lisa Belisle: That's such a great answer, because you're not saying, I'm leaving you behind, never to go back again. What you're saying is, this was me at this point. I value the relationship that I have with this art and that I have with you, the person who has my art. I will always value this, and welcome to my new self.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Exactly. Going back to the trip that I took with my sister and niece, going into museums, it was really interesting seeing the evolution of these artists. There was an exhibit, we went to the Tate Modern that I had always wanted to go to in London, and it was a show with Mondrian and Hilma af Klint, and they started out as pretty detailed landscape artists, and they both went abstract, but in very different directions. It was room after room after room of all the different chapters of their style and how it changed and how it evolved. I also saw that when we were in Paris, we went to the Musée de l'Orangerie, and they had a whole show about the Impressionists and how their style changed. So I'm now thinking that's part of being an artist. You have to listen to that voice. There have been times when that voice has come up and I was like, no, no, no, no, this is what you do, this is what people know you for. And now I think I'm just going to trust the people that have always liked my art to understand where I'm going, where I am now.

Lisa Belisle: It's actually being human, that none of us are meant to stay newborns, and we are all continually evolving. But I do think that that's that emotional connection that I described with art. I think other people do feel their connection with art. So somehow making the space for that connection to remain strong, and also their connecting with you in your current state and whatever next iterations you are of yourself, I think that all of those can be true. It's just more of a flexibility, and again, the coevolution that I think can really occur and be strong.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Yes, absolutely.

Lisa Belisle: Well, I really encourage people who want to see more. You said 13, you've done so far.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: You go home and do another one, work on it. Start another one today.

Lisa Belisle: Very good. I've only seen this one right here. I don't know if this is going to actually leave my house. My husband might have to wrest it from my hands to get it out to the gallery. When are you going to have your next show? Do you know this yet?

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Yes. My show's coming up quickly. The opening is May 2nd. I hope everybody comes to the opening. They're so much fun, and lots of great art, creativity, camaraderie.

Lisa Belisle: For those of you who have been listening or watching, I highly encourage you to join us at the May opening of the Portland Art Gallery show that is going to feature, among other artists, Page, who is my lovely artist friend who I adore from Yarmouth, Maine, and who I'm so glad to have had a conversation with today regarding this evolving self. I really appreciate your taking the time to come in and talk to me today.

Page Eastburn O'Rourke: Oh, Lisa, thank you so much.

Lisa Belisle: Thank you. I'm Dr. Lisa Belisle, and you've been listening to or watching our video podcast, Radio Maine, sponsored by the Portland Art Gallery. We've fully explored creativity in the human spirit, and certainly celebrated it today with our artist Page Eastburn O'Rourke. I do encourage you to join us at our upcoming gallery openings. Thank you for joining us.